Thursday, September 20, 2007

An open letter to hockey

X-posted to HLOG

Dear Hockey,

Welcome back! For a minute there, I thought you would be gone forever. I mean, when you hung out with Lockout and then started getting cold sores on your mouth, I thought we wouldnt see for a while. But you came back, and when you went on your break this year, time moved oh so slowly.

I really missed you Hockey. While you were gone, the world seemed to think I could possibly care about someone else, like Football. What a douche. He gets tons of money and media attention, but spends all his time getting arrested and torturing dogs. Obviously, Football has never been to Thunder Bay, Ontario. Nobody parties like the Dutch.

And then some slut named Soccer came along, like I would ever look sideways at her. Actually Hockey, I have to admit...I did look at her out of the corner of my eye. But only for a minute, and I started to get an itch down there when I did. Who knows where she has been...

But now you are back, and I can tell that poser Baseball to stop calling me. What's that, you heard that I was hanging out with Baseball? Well, I dont even want to dignify that with a response. And even if I was with Baseball, it was because I was lonely without you. Now that you are back, Baseball is out of my life and I will never have to look at those track marks on his arm again.

I'll see you this weekend Hockey.

XOXO,

Shmee

PS: The author admits, she does enjoy baseball, soccer and even football. But hockey is her number 1 man.

2 comments:

FAUXRUMORS said...

Cute post!

Shmee said...

Ha, thanks! There was something really satisfying about writing that post.