Monday, January 28, 2008

Friendly competition (and Guillaume Latendresse has syphilis face)

I dont have any internet boyfriends (I havent been reduced to that yet, but if the guys in DC dont step up to the plate, it might happen soon), but if I did, the guys over at Four Habs Fans would be my first choice. They enjoy distasteful sex jokes, hockey, beer, and making fun of the Habs in order to show the Habs that they love them. My kind of guys.

That said, they have issued a challenge to Capital Addiction and its one that we will not and cannot ignore. From the guys:

Hey kids! You know who the Habs play this week? Yes, it's the Washington Capitals and their Unfrozen Caveman Millionaire Hockey Player (tm myfo)! On Tuesday. And on Thursday. With an event like this, we turned to our friend Shmee over at Capital Addiction for some ideas.

The result? A bet! Well, not a "bet" per se. Shmee, fearing the IRS, the FBI, and /or mob reprisals, has deemed it a "predictions contest." We predict the Habs will win. Shmee predicts the Caps will win. Whoever is wrong will be forced to write an epic poem on why the other team has a better player than the other team's best player. Or something like that, we're still working on some details. We're lawyers, so the negotiations are going badly.
Its on. Our lawyers are still hammering out the final agreement, but I fully expect to kick their asses.

Open note to the Capitals: If you are reading this, it is crucially important that you win against the Habs. Not just for your playoff chances, but so that I dont have to write a post about how terrific that syphilis face Latendresse is (we dont actually know if syphilis can grow on your face, but the facts have never stopped us before!). Or how Alex Kovalev is the best Russian playing the game. It hurts just to type that.

PS: To our friends at Four Habs Fans - we are so confident that the Caps will hit whatever benchmarks we set, that we already have some thoughts for your post on the Capitals vs. the Habs. Some things to mention:

-Mike Komisarek should remove the "Sean Avery wuz here!" sign from Elisha Cuthbert's girly bits before entering.
-Mathieu Dandenault is a little bitch
- Please produce a picture of Michael Ryder where he doesnt look like he just got stoned

Ok, many of these arent actually suggestions on how the Caps are better then the Habs, but some glaring issues we just wanted to point out.

Update 1: Yes, this is becoming the longest post in the history of Cap Addiction.

Here is what we will be predicting upon:

total # of goals scored by the Habs over the 2 games
total # of goals scored by the Caps over the 2 games
total # of goals scored by Ovie over the 2 games
total # of goals scored by Kovy over the 2 games
Winner of Tuesday night game
Winner of Thursday night game
pick one person from the Habs who will get into a fight
pick one person from the Caps who will get into a fight

One point for each winner, blogger with the most point wins. The guys and I will be simultaneously posting our answers on our blogs tomorrow at 2:30pm EST. Leave any suggestions you have in the comments!

Update #2: CapsChick is joining our little contest, even though she is a secret Habs lover. In the words of Habsfan29, its a three way (get your mind out of the gutter!).

17 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

Please produce a picture of Michael Ryder where he doesnt look like he just got stoned

There isn't one.

Woohoo! I am predicting Ovie scores 18 goals in 2 games. It's possible

HabsFan29 said...

and BTW I love the way the "STDs" tag comes right after the "Internet Boyfriends" tag

Shmee said...

We have no illusions....they probably go hand in hand:)

Bethany said...

total # of goals scored by the Habs over the 2 games 4

total # of goals scored by the Caps over the 2 games6

total # of goals scored by Ovie over the 2 games 2

total # of goals scored by Kovy over the 2 games 0

Winner of Tuesday night game Caps

Winner of Thursday night game Habs

pick one person from the Habs who will get into a fight Nobody

pick one person from the Caps who will get into a fight Brashear will fight himself...cuz that's how he rolls.

Shmee said...

Bethany: Ha! I love the last one. That is how Brash rolls.

Teka said...

I say.... uh.... Laing takes a puck in the soft bits at some point.

But srsly, I forgot to send you the Tshirt link as well. http://145264.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/

I'm not making a commission off of 'em right now, so they're as cheap as they get. If it really takes off, I might boost it by a buck, just so I get SOMETHING, but that'll be a while.

Rage said...

Habs goals: 6
Caps goals: 9
Ovy goals: 2
Kovy goals: 2
Tuesday night winner: Caps
Thursday night winner: Caps
Habs fighter: Canadiens don't fight, they just get insecure and make fun of your country
Caps fighter: Brash/Brads

belmontmedina said...

Wow. I wish I liked hockey enough to make a guess.

Congrats on not battling the plague anymore!

FAUX RUMORS said...

Habs goals: 7
Caps goals: 5
Ovy goals: 1
Kovy goals: 2
Tuesday night winner: Habs(OT)
Thursday night winner: Habs(SO)
No Fights

Habsfan10 said...

Dandaneault is a little bitch, but his alter ego "El Dandy" is ... well, actually, El Dandy is kind of a little bitch too, but he prefers to be called "foppish".

Ryder is from Newfoundland. The whole province looks like that. Newfoundland is our West Virginia. Maybe Arkansas.

CapsChick said...

Okay, the STDs tage made me laugh way too hard - especially since in my addled brain I wasn't even thinking about poor Gui, I thought you were just linking 'internet boyfriends' with STDs. I may need to get more sleep...

habsfan10: That's just cruel. To compare Newfies to those two states, the land where family reunions and pick-up joints collide? Cruel.

Habsfan10 said...

capschick, it was more that Newfoundland & Labrador represents our quirky outpost, what with the funny accents, strange rituals (kissing the cod?), addiction to homemade booze and questionable musical taste. What the good people of West Virginia and Arkansas do in the privacy of their own homes/trailers/tarpaper shacks is none of my business.

CapsChick said...

Ah, well...that's much better, sure. Of course if you hadn't thrown "kissing the cod" in there I would almost believe you. Apparently I'm borrowing the brain of a 12 year old boy today because that just sounded...wrong.

Shmee said...

Rage: I love your fight line. I think its a point well made about the Habs...

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