Friendly competition (and Guillaume Latendresse has syphilis face)

I dont have any internet boyfriends (I havent been reduced to that yet, but if the guys in DC dont step up to the plate, it might happen soon), but if I did, the guys over at Four Habs Fans would be my first choice. They enjoy distasteful sex jokes, hockey, beer, and making fun of the Habs in order to show the Habs that they love them. My kind of guys.

That said, they have issued a challenge to Capital Addiction and its one that we will not and cannot ignore. From the guys:

Hey kids! You know who the Habs play this week? Yes, it's the Washington Capitals and their Unfrozen Caveman Millionaire Hockey Player (tm myfo)! On Tuesday. And on Thursday. With an event like this, we turned to our friend Shmee over at Capital Addiction for some ideas.

The result? A bet! Well, not a "bet" per se. Shmee, fearing the IRS, the FBI, and /or mob reprisals, has deemed it a "predictions contest." We predict the Habs will win. Shmee predicts the Caps will win. Whoever is wrong will be forced to write an epic poem on why the other team has a better player than the other team's best player. Or something like that, we're still working on some details. We're lawyers, so the negotiations are going badly.

Its on. Our lawyers are still hammering out the final agreement, but I fully expect to kick their asses.

Open note to the Capitals: If you are reading this, it is crucially important that you win against the Habs. Not just for your playoff chances, but so that I dont have to write a post about how terrific that syphilis face Latendresse is (we dont actually know if syphilis can grow on your face, but the facts have never stopped us before!). Or how Alex Kovalev is the best Russian playing the game. It hurts just to type that.

PS: To our friends at Four Habs Fans - we are so confident that the Caps will hit whatever benchmarks we set, that we already have some thoughts for your post on the Capitals vs. the Habs. Some things to mention:

-Mike Komisarek should remove the "Sean Avery wuz here!" sign from Elisha Cuthbert's girly bits before entering.
-Mathieu Dandenault is a little bitch
- Please produce a picture of Michael Ryder where he doesnt look like he just got stoned

Ok, many of these arent actually suggestions on how the Caps are better then the Habs, but some glaring issues we just wanted to point out.

Update 1: Yes, this is becoming the longest post in the history of Cap Addiction.

Here is what we will be predicting upon:

total # of goals scored by the Habs over the 2 games

total # of goals scored by the Caps over the 2 games

total # of goals scored by Ovie over the 2 games

total # of goals scored by Kovy over the 2 games

Winner of Tuesday night game

Winner of Thursday night game

pick one person from the Habs who will get into a fight

pick one person from the Caps who will get into a fight

One point for each winner, blogger with the most point wins. The guys and I will be simultaneously posting our answers on our blogs tomorrow at 2:30pm EST. Leave any suggestions you have in the comments!

Update #2: CapsChick is joining our little contest, even though she is a secret Habs lover. In the words of Habsfan29, its a three way (get your mind out of the gutter!).