Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Sloooow offseason

Its been a couple of slow hockey days. So, I decided to make up my own news. These would be some good fake headlines to keep me entertained during the off season:

Staal Brothers jump bail: last seen headed toward Mexico, disguised as Amish Schoolgirls

Jeremy Roenick retiring from hockey to become couples therapist; "I'm really a sensitive guy"

Mike Comrie dating Dakota Fanning, "People dont understand that she is really mature for a 12 year-old"

Shane Doan legally adopts Lindsay Lohan, says "We are both misunderstood. I dont even speak French, and she hates coke. Only drinks Pepsi"

Gary Bettman stepping down as NHL head, will star in revival of "Annie, get your gun"


Tracy said...

I'm not much for blasphemy (half of your list have been Coyotes after all) but the Doan one really made me laugh. "Only likes Pepsi." Ahh... you slay me. :)

Ally S said...

lol, I liked the ones of HLOG too.

McPhizzle said...


I came across one -
Todd Bertuzzi, trying to soften his image, puts out a stuffed animal to be sold with the proceeds going to charity, the name, "Todd Beartuzzi"