Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Star hockey player drinks underage *GASP*

After reading this article, I think I actually like the Staal brothers, instead of just assuming that they are cloned robots with limited speaking ability. I mean, getting arrested at your bachelor party is pretty epic. How could I not find myself warming to them?

According to a statement released by the Cook County Sheriff's office, after the Sheriff's office received complaints about "screaming, yelling and playing loud music," the group of about 20 was warned "multiple times" before it was ordered to leave the resort by Sheriff's deputies, a Minnesota State Patrol trooper and a U.S. Border Patrol agent at 3 a.m. Saturday.

"After leaving the property, the group gathered on Highway 61 and began harassing passing motorists," the Sheriff's office said, at which point 14 members of the group were arrested at approximately 4 a.m.

"I have no doubt there were probably a couple kids lipping off or something like that," Curran said. "Frankly, that goes with the territory. You get that many a group of kids together, somebody is going to say something stupid."

In addition to Staal, 22, his younger brother Jordan, 18, and a number of his cousins were arrested as well. Jordan Staal, who just finished his rookie year with the Pittsburgh Penguins, was also charged with consumption of alcohol while under 21 years of age.

First of all, who the hell has their bachelor party in Minnesota when they make millions playing hockey? I'd have flown my robot cousins to Las Vegas, where we could have partied in style. And by party in style I mean break out the blue velvet tuxes and drunkenly proclaim their love for cows because what else do you date when you live on a farm in Canada? With any luck, Eric or Jordan would have married a stripper named Dropit Likeits-Hot, and that would have been an even better news story during the off season.

In conclusion, your true crime was cheapness Eric Staal! And you deserve to be arrested for that.


Ally S said...

You crack me up Shmee!

Margee said...


I can't get enough of this story.

Plus, how old do you have to be to drink in Canada? If it's 18, their crime is stupidity, because why would you move a largely underaged drinking bonanza south of the border.

And DropItLikeItsHot? Awesome.

Shmee said...

Ally: Thanks:)

Margee: The drinking age is 18 in Canada (as this former Vermonter knows since she was a regular in Canada until her 21st birthday). What fools move the party to a place where it is illegal to drink under 21 when the groom's bro is 18?

And come on, its not like Minnesota is a lot more happening then Canada. I can understand moving the party to NYC or Miami, but Minnesota?

noyb said...

Lol, very enjoyable.

Pookie said...

Shmee, I had no idea the drinking age is 18 in Canada. What were they thinking? Oh well. The result of the whole thing was one superhot mug shot for Eric, so it's all good in my book.

KMS2 said...

drunkenly proclaim their love for cows because what else do you date when you live on a farm in Canada


Steph said...

Okay you are no longer allowed to post pictures that make me even more endeared to Eric Staal. Elly will make incessant fun of me.

Why were they in Minnesota though? I mean come on!

Tracy said...

Dropit Likeits-hot? That was classic. I may have to use that in weeks to come.